Original Airdate: 02/06/1958
Panel: Bill Cullen, Jayne Meadows, Henry Morgan, Betsy Palmer
Host: Garry Moore
Guest: Mr. X, Miss Y, Miss Z (see below for real names)
The three people in this performance were each related to someone famous. That was what their secret was, same with all the other guests in this episode, but all the guests showed off some talent. The questioning was only to find out whom they were related to, so I didn’t transcribe it. If you’re interested, the three people are: Jody McRea, son of Joe McRae, Melinda Markee, daughter of Joan Bennett, and Judy Lewis, daughter of Loretta Young.
Garry Moore: Now it used to be said, that Sarah Bernhardt was such a great actress that she could actually walk out on the stage and make an audience cry simply by reading the telephone book. So, we have asked these three young actors to perform a similar task for us here tonight. First, reading from the New York telephone book, is Mr. X.
(he walks out, applause)
We have asked the other two to read from documents of equal dramatic impact, so next, reading from the help wanted column of the classified ads from last Sunday’s New York Times, Miss Y.
(she walks out, applause)
And finally, a dramatic reading from the U.S. individual income tax return form 10-40 which we all love so well, we have Miss Z.
(she walks out, applause)
Each of these actors will try to create a definite mood in the reading. Mr. X, your mood is anger. (Mr. X flips a card over the stand in front of him, revealing the word “ANGRY”) Miss Y, your mood is love. (Miss Y flips her card – LOVE) And Miss Z, your mood is sadness. (Miss Z flips her card – SAD) Now Mr. X, we will start the drama with you, reading from the telephone book, and the young ladies will join the plot, and respond as the mood moves them. At the end of two minutes we will ring the buzzer, terminating the drama. Mr. X, will you start please, reading from the telephone book.
Mr. X (ANGRY): Miller, Theo F. Thomas F. Murray Hill 28177. Miller Thomas C. Murray Hill… Murray Watkins 34286.
Miss Y (LOVE): Young man… personable… ambitious… intelligent… for delivery. Some selling… room for advancement. Midtown Manhattan… Liquor store. Call Monday before noon for appointment. Plaza three… five six one oh.
Miss Z (SAD): Tax on income on line eleven. If line eleven is under five thousand dollars, and you do not itemize deductions, use the tax table on page sixteen of instructions to find your tax and check here.
Mr. X (ANGRY): Miller Tony M. Miller W. S. Auto repairing. (rips up pages and throws them down) Miller Vivian, VIVIAN. Columbus…
Miss Y (LOVE): Young man… washing machine repair. Mechanically inclined. Reference…
Miss Z (SAD): If line eleven is five thousand dollars or more, itemize deductions…
Mr. X (ANGRY): Now wait a minute! Miller Thomas H.! Miller Thomas H., 57th street, 57th street! Murray Hill 73024
Miss Z (SAD): Compute your tax on page two and enter here the amount from line nine, page two!
Mr. X (ANGRY): Murray Hill 402… [ ** BUZZER ** ]
END OF ACT